Have you ever noticed how easy it is to say exactly what you think -- until the instant somebody actually asks you to do it? Maybe it's easier, sometimes, to mouth off in the abstract, with nobody else around to critique, to judge, to censor, than it is to come out with whatever it is and risk public scrutiny. Especially by people whose opinions you care about.

I have seen those who are apparently of the opinion that the worst thing you can do to other people is disagree with them. True, some people seem to regard any divergence of opinion as somehow disloyal, an outright rejection of themselves as persons. I, on the other hand, having been the recipient of enough genuinely bad treatment over the years -- "the thousand natural frets and shocks that flesh is heir to" -- think I can usually tell the difference between, say, bullying and a simple difference of opinion.

If you disagree with me, that's fine: it very often shows me that you respect me as an equal, and that you have given enough consideration to my ideas to know that you don't agree with them. On the other hand, don't give me the sort of "freedom of choice" which is only free if I pick what you've already decided on. (And, yes, I have had someone do that to me.) In my own experience, I'm far less likely to develop that sort of "deer in the headlights" mentality as an immediate response to another person's questions if I'm not expecting reprisals for anything I might say.